The Reluctant Ballerina

(Very cute pictures to come--just don't have the time before bed, sorry.)

Today was Abby's first ballet class. She has been so excited about starting, and when we got to the rec center she literally ran right out of her shoes on the way to the front door. The teacher is sweet, energetic without being too crazy, which is an important balance for Abby. The class had eight other girls, so it was a good size--not too overwhelming.

They started by learning how to "sit like a ballerina". While the teacher was going down the line of them, adjusting their legs and arms, Abby sat awaiting her turn with her legs splayed and let out a huge fart, then said all chipper-like, "Excuse me!" Much muffled laugher from the gallery of parents.

After they learned how to sit properly, they stood and went against the wall. Miss Marilyn had them go up on their tip-toes, and she used Abby as an example of how high they should go--those who know her well know that Abby has been walking on her toes nearly as long as she's been walking, so it was no surprise to me that she was used as the model. Unfortunately, this is when things began to fall apart.

Miss Marilyn had them walk on their tip-toes across the room. Totally not a challenge for Abby, yet she stayed against the wall as everyone else took off, looking like she didn't get the instructions. Eventually Miss Marilyn coaxed her into action, and they went across and then came back going backwards. When they got back to the first wall Miss Marilyn told them to do it again, and for some reason Abby came running over to me and just burst into tears.

We went out in the hall to talk. I asked if she was scared; she said yes. I talked about how nice Miss Marilyn was, and how encouraging and not-scary. I asked if she was confused about what to do; she said yes. We talked about watching the teacher and other students for clues, and how she could just say, "I'm confused, can you help me?" But she said she was too shy. My poor baby.

She calmed down and said she wanted to go back, so we went back in and they were lining back up on their "marks"-- little red tape spots on the floor. She went back to her spot and they began to do toe-pointing, and then a little move where they put their foot against their knee. After doing each of those a few times, the teacher had them alternate--point toe, foot to knee, point toe, foot to knee--with some music in the background. This was when things fell apart again. Abby got off pace with the teacher and the other students, and she burst yet again into tears. Back into the hall we went to talk some more about how this was just for fun, and it wasn't a big deal if she got off pace a little bit, and how everyone is just learning and sometimes it takes a while to get the hang of things. 

There were only a few minutes left, and I promised her a treat when we got home if she finished the class. We went back in and I stayed with her in the corner. They did a little cheer of sorts with pom-poms, and she did most of it. Then Miss Marilyn paired them off--I was Abby's partner--to make "London Bridge is Falling Down" type bridges. Then she had one pair of students go under one of the bridges like a train, and then had the bridge students attach themselves to the back of the train. They all went under another bridge, and then those girls attached to the back, and on and on until they got to us. Abby refused to get on, but then we did it again with music and this time when it came to us I held on to Abby's shoulder so I'd be the caboose and attached her to the back of the other girls.

That was the last bit, and then Miss Marilyn handed out Hello Kitty stickers, which made Abby so happy you'd never know she'd been crying for half the class. 

So...not the rosy experience I'd been hoping for, but at least the teacher is sweet and understanding. And I think a lot of it had to do with a number of factors unrelated to the class:

1. Yesterday was the dentist, and that was very new. Abby doesn't do new very often, and when she does, it's a big deal. Having two new experiences one right after the other may have been a bit too much for her.

2. She's in this nap transition where she needs a nap every 3 days or so. Tomorrow is nap day. But since she was up at 5:15 this morning, she really needed a nap today. But ballet is at 2:30, and she never would have been awake in time.

3. Abby has her mother's slow processing. In new situations it seems to take my brain, like, five times longer to decode information--and it ain't that fast in familiar situations, either. Having a line of parents armed with cell phones and video cameras staring at her, as well as a teacher (who is a large woman with a LOT of eye makeup and big hair), was most certainly stressful and distracting, and trying to follow along with new steps with all those eyes on her did not help the situation.

So, because of all those things, I'm actually encouraged. You may remember that the first day of swim class required major bribery to get her to participate at all. Well, by the end of the month she was dying to go to class and did everything she was asked. The swim teacher commented to me multiple times about how impressed she was with Abby's progress. And I think the same will happen here. We'll work this week on the little sitting pose, and the toe-pointing, and the foot-to-knee thing, and walking on tip-toes, and next week it'll all be old hat. I'll make sure she's had a nap the day before, and while I can't stop her from getting up early, I'll make sure she at least gets to bed at a decent hour the night before. We'll play some follow the leader so she gets some practice at picking up cues from what someone is doing, rather than what they're saying. And we'll talk a bunch about the class in case there are any other hidden anxieties that haven't come out yet. 

I don't think there are, though. I think this is just our Abby. And that's okay.